What Makes a Hero: An Analysis of Amazing Spider-Man #700 [CONTAINS SPOILERS]

Dan Slott’s series-ending Amazing Spider-Man #700 is really two superhero stories in one: the death of a superhero and the origin story of another. From the time I discovered the ending of this story in the spoiler leak several days ago, to actually sitting down to read the issue, I’ve been trying to piece together what exactly frustrates me so much about this storyline. Is it that Peter Parker dies a  horrible death? Actually, no. Superhero deaths are nothing new, and with the comic book industry’s illustrious history of retconning and bringing characters back to life, I imagine we haven’t seen the last of Peter Parker. Not to mention, superhero death stories can be genuine works of art. It wasn’t so simple as just being an irate fan who doesn’t want to see his childhood hero’s demise. So why did this disappoint me so much? After all, it is just a comic book. These aren’t real people. They’re characters in a story. But no. It is more than just a story. There is a philosophy in every comic book. People don’t read comics merely for the fireworks of two emotionally damaged people in leotards beating the hell out of each other. No, we read comics for what the stories tell us about ourselves and the world around us. And my problem with Amazing Spider-Man #700 is that in attempting to show how a villain might be redeemed and rise to the challenge of heroism, instead, Slott has written an origin story which thoroughly misunderstands what makes a hero.

Want to know the end of Amazing Spider-Man #700? [MAJOR SPOILERS]

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

If you’re a fan of comic books and you use the internet, which I think is likely given that you’re reading a comic book blog right now, you’ve probably already seen that the ending of Amazing Spider-Man #700 was leaked today and anyone who has seen the spoiler now knows who becomes the Superior Spider-Man, a plot point which has been shrouded in secrecy for months now.

Again, SPOILERS AHEAD!

If you’re curious, if you don’t care about spoilers, or if, like me, you are so fed up with Dan Slott and his shitty shitty oh so shitty Amazing Spider-Man stories and don’t care anymore, here is the link.

Of course, since this is a spoiler preceding even the release of advance copies, either it’s fake or some sneaky intern at Marvel (or Dan Slott, for all we know, given his track record of fucking with readers) took pictures of the actual book and posted it on 4chan. Now, I am pretty confident this is real, since I saw on Dan Slott’s Facebook page today that he wrote a post saying that ASM 700 had leaked and everyone should be careful if they don’t want it ruined for them. Plus, the leak isn’t just a plot description; there are actual pictures there, and the images are clearly Humberto Ramos’s penciling.

Up in tentacled arms about The Amazing Spider-Man #699

Marvel Comics
Story – Dan Slott
Art – Humberto Ramos

When I was a little kid, around middle school age, I had an almost sadistic fascination with destruction. I would often take old action figures I no longer used, place them in a plastic bowl filled with water, and put them in the freezer. The next day, Daredevil or Batman would be frozen in the ice, often with one limb awkwardly sticking out. I’d take these frozen action figures outside and hurl them into the air just to watch them shatter on the sidewalk. Dan Slott, as a writer, is like me as a bored middle school kid on a summer day. Dan Slott has taken Spider-Man, our Spider-Man, and hurled him into the air just to watch him shatter.

Maybe I’m being hyperbolic. But I have been so let down and angered over Slott’s stories and writing, that it truly does feel like more than just the end of The Amazing Spider-Man; it feels like destruction. Ruination. With each passing issue he does, I feel that he has taken one more brick out of Spider-Man’s foundation. My feeling right now is that next month’s last issue, #700, Slott will remove the keystone, and we’ll all have to suffer through Spider-Man’s destruction.

Review: The Amazing Spider-Man 696 (with sundry complaints about the series generally)

2 out of 5 stars
Marvel Comics
Writers- Dan Slott & Christos Gage
Art- Giuseppe Camuncoli
Inks- Dan Green
Colors- Antonio Fabela

I never thought I would say this (like, ever) but I am glad, nay, thoroughly satisfied, that The Amazing Spider-Man will be coming to an end in a mere four issues. I don’t say this out of some longstanding hatred of the series. In fact, ASM has always been my favorite comic book. I grew up reading Spider-Man. Many of my fondest memories as a Spidey fan were during what I consider the “Golden Age” of Spider-Man comics: the John Romita Jr. and J. Michael Straczynski run. Those comics were exactly what Spider-Man was supposed to be. Romita was an expert in kinetic, fun, evocative art with facial expressions that said ten times what was contained in thought bubbles, and fight scenes so beautifully and perfectly rendered, you could feel his ribs crack as Morlun pounded him or the thrill of success when Spider-Man finally found a way to physically overcome the vampire. There was glory and thrill and a feel of classic comic book storytelling in those books. As far as I’m concerned, that was Spider-Man. But those days are long gone, aren’t they? I think ASM’s “jumping the shark” moment came a long time ago, during the Brand New Day/One More Day line. And it has all been downhill from there.